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- C = }>;{))
-
- Last month this newspaper described some of the purported hazards of
- working with computers -- electro-magnetic radiation, strained limbs,
- strained eyes. We neglected to mention crooked heads. That is what you
- get from trying to read the expressions of a new hieroglyphic language
- that computer addicts have invented to enliven messages.
-
- Like prehistoric cave dwellers, the devotees of electronic
- bulletin-boards and "e-mail" have struggled to find a new way to
- express themselves. Wall painting would not work. Words, it seems, are
- not enough. Inarticulate sounds cannot be displayed on screens. To
- make their messages feel more like personal contact, they have hit on
- using the punctuation marks on an ordinaty keyboard in order to pull
- faces at each other. To read these signs, you have to put your head on
- your left shoulder.
-
- The basic unit is:
- :-)
-
- the "smiley", a standard smiling face. In context, this can
- mean "I'm happy to hear from you", or other pleasantries. The
- smiley can also wink:
- ;-)
- or frown:
- :-(
-
- among other things. The language can express many things about the
- user's appearance:
-
- 8-) :-{) 8:-) :-)-8 :-Q @:-)
-
- These signs mean, respectively, that the user wears sunglasses, has a
- moustache, is a little girl, is a big girl, smokes, wears a turban.
-
- The smiley can also indicate some subtleties of mood and
- response:
-
- :-D :-/ :-e :-7 :-X
-
- These mean that he is laughing, is sceptical, is disappointed,
- is wry, is keeping his lips sealed.
-
- Many of the signs (perhaps the majority in use on America's
- biggest computer networks) are simply absurd fun, verging on
- the unintelligible:
-
- :-F *:o) +-:-) @=
-
- The user is a buck-toothed vampire with one tooth missing, is
- a clown, holds religious office, is pro-nuclear. The
- hieroglyph of our title means that the user is a drunk,
- devilish chef with a toupee in an updraft, a moustache and a
- double chin. Now you know what electronic mail is used for.
-
-
- =*=
-
-
-
- Subject: Here's a smile directory - Hope it lightens you day.
-
-
- The Unofficial Smilie Dictionary
- --------------------------------
-
- :-) Your basic smilie. This smilie is used to inflect a sarcastic or
- joking statement since we can't hear voice inflection over Unix.
- ;-) Winky smilie. User just made a flirtatious and/or sarcastic remark.
- More of a "don't hit me for what I just said" smilie.
- :-( Frowning smilie. User did not like that last statement or is upset
- or depressed about something.
- :-I Indifferent smilie. Better than a Frowning smilie but not quite as
- good as a happy smilie
- :-> User just made a really biting sarcastic remark. Worse than a :-).
- :-> User just made a really devilish remark.
- ;-> Winky and devil combined. A very lewd remark was just made.
-
- Those are the basic ones...Here are some somewhat less common ones:
-
- (-: User is left handed
- %-) User has been staring at a green screen for 15 hours straight
- :*) User is drunk
- [:] User is a robot
- 8-) User is wearing sunglasses
- B:-) Sunglasses on head
- ::-) User wears normal glasses
- B-) User wears horn-rimmed glasses
- 8:-) User is a little girl
- :-)-8 User is a Big girl
- :-{) User has a mustache
- :-{} User wears lipstick
- {:-) User wears a toupee
- }:-( Toupee in an updraft
- :-[ User is a Vampire
- :-E Bucktoothed vampire
- :-F Bucktoothed vampire with one tooth missing
- :-7 User juust made a wry statement
- :-* User just ate something sour
- :-)~ User drools
- :-~) User has a cold
- :'-( User is crying
- :'-) User is so happy, s/he is crying
- :-@ User is screaming
- :-# User wears braces
- :^) User has a broken nose
- :v) User has a broken nose, but it's the other way
- :_) User's nose is sliding off of his face
- :<) User is from an Ivy League School
- :-& User is tongue tied.
- =:-) User is a hosehead
- -:-) User is a punk rocker
- -:-( (real punk rockers don't smile)
- :=) User has two noses
- +-:-) User is the Pope or holds some other religious office
- `:-) User shaved one of his eyebrows off this morning
- ,:-) Same thing...other side
- |-I User is asleep
- |-O User is yawning/snoring
- :-Q User is a smoker
- :-? User smokes a pipe
- O-) Megaton Man On Patrol! (or else, user is a scuba diver)
- O :-) User is an angel (at heart, at least)
- :-P Nyahhhh!
- :-S User just made an incoherent statement
- :-D User is laughing (at you!)
- :-X User's lips are sealed
- :-C User is really bummed
- :-/ User is skeptical
- C=:-) User is a chef
- @= User is pro-nuclear war
- *<:-) User is wearing a Santa Claus Hat
- :-o Uh oh!
- (8-o It's Mr. Bill!
- *:o) And Bozo the Clown!
- 3:] Pet smilie
- 3:[ Mean Pet smilie
- d8= Your pet beaver is wearing goggles and a hard hat.
- E-:-) User is a Ham radio operator
- :-9 User is licking his/her lips
- %-6 User is braindead
- [:-) User is wearing a walkman
- (:I User is an egghead
- <:-I User is a dunce
- K:P User is a little kid with a propeller beenie
- @:-) User is wearing a turban
- :-0 No Yelling! (Quiet Lab)
- :-: Mutant Smilie
- The invisible smilie
- .-) User only has one eye
- ,-) Ditto...but he's winking
- X-( User just died
- 8 :-) User is a wizard
- C=}>;*{)) Mega-Smilie... A drunk, devilish chef with a toupee in an updraft,
- a mustache, and a double chin
-
- Note: A lot of these can be typed without noses to make midget smilies.
-
- :) Midget smilie
- :] Gleep...a friendly midget smilie who will gladly be your friend
- =) Variation on a theme...
- :} - What should we call these? (what?)
- :) - Happy
- :> - what?
- :@ - what?
- :D - Laughter
- :I - Hmmm...
- :( - Sad
- :[ - Real Downer
- :< - what?
- :{ - what?
- :O - Yelling
- :C - what?
- :Q - what?
- :,( - Crying
- [] - Hugs and
- :* - Kisses
- |I - Asleep
- |^o -Snoring
-
-
- :-` smiley spitting out its chewing tobacco
- :-1 smiley bland face
- :-! "
- :-@ smiley face screaming
- :-#| smiley face with bushy mustache
- :-$ smiley face with it's mouth wired shut
- :-% smiley banker
- :-6 smiley after eating something sour
- :^) smiley with pointy nose (righty)
- :-7 smiley after a wry statement
- 8-) smiley swimmer
- :-* smiley after eating something bitter
- :-& smiley which is tongue-tied
- :-0 smiley orator
- smiley invisible man
- (:-( unsmiley frowning
- (:-) smiley big-face
- ):-) "
- ):-( unsmiley big-face
- )8-) scuba smiley big-face
- =:-) smiley punk-rocker
- =:-( (real punk rockers don't smile)
- +:-) smiley priest
- :-q smiley trying to touch its tongue to its nose
- :-e disappointed smiley
- :-t cross smiley
- :-i semi-smiley
- :-o smiley singing national anthem
- :-p smiley sticking its tongue out (at you!)
- :-[ un-smiley blockhead
- :-] smiley blockhead
- :-{ smiley variation on a theme
- :-} ditto
- {:-) smiley with its hair parted in the middle
- }:-) above in an updraft
- :-a lefty smilely touching tongue to nose
- :-s smiley after a BIZARRE comment
- :-d lefty smiley razzing you
- g-) smiley with ponce-nez glasses
- :-j left smiling smilely
- :-k beats me, looks like something, tho.
- :-l y. a. s.
- :-: mutant smiley
- :-\ undecided smiley
- :-| "have an ordinary day" smiley
- ;-) winking smiley
- :-< real sad smiley
- :-> y.a.s.
- :-z y.a.c.s.
- :-x "my lips are sealed" smiley
- :-c bummed out smiley
- :-v talking head smiley
- :v) left-pointing nose smiley
- :-b left-pointing tongue smiley
- :-/ lefty undecided smiley
- :-? smilely smoking a pipe
- .-] one-eyed smilely
- ,-} wry and winking
- 0-) smiley cyclops (scuba diver?)
- :-=) older smiley with mustache
- :u) smiley with funny-looking left nose
- :n) smiley with funny-looking right nose
- :< midget unsmiley
- :> midget smiley
- }:^#}) mega-smiley: updrafted bushy-mustached pointy nosed smiley with
- a double-chin
-
- :-) ha ha ~~:-( net.flame
- |-) hee hee O |-) net.religion
- |-D ho ho
- :-> hey hey 8 :-I net.unix-wizards
- :-( boo hoo X-( net.suicide
- :-I hmm E-:-I net.ham-radio
- :-O uh oh >:-I net.startrek
- :-P nyah nyah 3:o[ net.pets
- |-P yuk
-
- :-} beard
- :-{ mustache
- :-# braces
- :-X bow tie
- :-Q smoker
- <:I dunce
- (:I egghead
- @:I turban
-
- 8-) glasses
- B-) horn-rims
- 8:-) glasses on forehead
- :-8( condescending stare
- ;-) wink
- :-< mad
-
-
- Drama :-( Comedy :-) Surpise :-o Suspense 8-|
-
- Male :- Female >-
- Birth |-O Death 8-#
- Infinity 8
-
-
- Hey, have fun with these.
-
-
- [compiled by Kevin Johnson]
-
-
- and of course, my personal favorite (mainly because I designed it)
-
-
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- ___________________ |
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-
-
- The world's biggest smiley (sort of)
-
- Make sure to use these little pals frequently, I get .02 cents royalty on each
- one ;-> (see there's another .02!)
-
- witzelsucht (vit'sel-zoocht) [Ger.]
- "A mental condition characteristic of frontal lobe lesions and marked by
- the making of poor jokes and puns and the telling of pointless stories, at
- which the patient himself is intensely amused."
-
- This isn't me!! Honest, guys, this isn't me!!
-
- Donald "Dice Freak" Daybell daybell@aludra.usc.edu
-